I guess I should tell you that my whole reason behind getting a job was not to get away from the kids, although it has turned out to be a blessing in that department (I'll explain better in a moment.)

My ultimate goal in getting a sales job, was to put all my money aside to put a sizable down-payment on a home.

While working, I venture into some truly spectacular boutiques, jewelry stores and high-end, big-ticket stores. Today, I took my twins to the puppy store: mostly so they could play & so Leo could get over his fear of puppies and partly to see what was available as a playmate for our current dog, Blue. Well, wouldn't you know it, a beautiful red, freckled Cocker Spaniel was there. We played for 30 minutes with her. My heart broke as I walked out the door, knowing full-well that there was NO WAY my husband would let me spend $799 for a dog. Duh, we prefer pound-puppies anyway - don't we?


I also had to walk away from a stunning piece of hand-made jewelry. (As seen here.) The story behind this piece is remarkable..."truly an investment," I tell myself as I walk away, promising the shop owner I would be in tomorrow. Ergh.

Now, if any of you keep up with the weather, you'll know that way back in September, the metro & surrounding areas of Atlanta, Georgia were subjected to heavy, disastrous flooding. Our entire world floated away with the river...yup, and all my clothes too. So, needless to say, I'm without adequate summer clothes! So, I walk into several trendy clothing stores and nearly pass out when I walk out! 


Now, among all those stresses I must say that I come home much more eager to greet my children. I feel more in love with them after having been gone all day and I enjoy each moment a little bit more than I used to.

Balance is proving to be quite an illusive goal. For one day I'll feel like I've reached it and the next day it's as if the world flipped on it's axis and all is wrong again. But yet I move forward in search of it!

Okay, received a little bit of static today from the hubby. It isn't really his fault, but his reaction could have been a little more positive.


Ad libitum is Latin for at one's pleasure. Wikipedia also states: "It is a common misconception that "ad lib" stands for "adding liberally". 


In my apparent mis-education, I thought that ad lib meant adding liberally. Glad I looked it up. I suppose both definitions, correct or not, pretty much describe my situation. Anyway, the reason I titled the post the way I did was because I took a big step this past week:


I got a j-o-b. 


Besides my work-from-home gig, which I currently only do between 9-12 at night anyway, I got a B2B sales job. I'm working with small- to medium-sized businesses which is right up my alley, I hate large corporate department stores (Walmart sucks!) Anyway, the hubby and I discussed and figured, one sale per week would cover the baby-sitter and add a bit of play money into our budget. So, if I sell more, we'll just be even more comfortable than we currently are.


Today was my first day on the job. Without getting into details, I didn't make a sale and had to rush to pick Diego up from school because Tony didn't have a car seat. Oops, minor detail. Well, he cancelled the babysitter so I had to cancel my two appointments this afternoon. And so this is my break-down of the situation at hand:


1. He's frustrated because I didn't make any money today. I'm frustrated because of his obvious lack of faith. 2. He was upset that he had to watch the twins. I was upset because he cancelled the babysitter so I lost several more chances at making a sale.
3. He obviously has reservations about me being anything other than Mommy. I obviously have ambitions beyond raising fine young boys.


Ergh.


Anyway, I don't know why I did this to myself. I knew he would be, well, disagreeable: But to be so pessimistic right out of the gate!?!?!?!?!? Well, that was just uncalled for. But to see it from his point of view, I'm probably being selfish and inconsiderate. 


So, on top of every other character I'm playing during this act in my life...I've added another character. Does this make me a more well-rounded actress or just add a TON of confusion? We'll see in the coming weeks.


Here's to Balance...or Bust!