Ad Lib: Why do I do this to myself?

Okay, received a little bit of static today from the hubby. It isn't really his fault, but his reaction could have been a little more positive.


Ad libitum is Latin for at one's pleasure. Wikipedia also states: "It is a common misconception that "ad lib" stands for "adding liberally". 


In my apparent mis-education, I thought that ad lib meant adding liberally. Glad I looked it up. I suppose both definitions, correct or not, pretty much describe my situation. Anyway, the reason I titled the post the way I did was because I took a big step this past week:


I got a j-o-b. 


Besides my work-from-home gig, which I currently only do between 9-12 at night anyway, I got a B2B sales job. I'm working with small- to medium-sized businesses which is right up my alley, I hate large corporate department stores (Walmart sucks!) Anyway, the hubby and I discussed and figured, one sale per week would cover the baby-sitter and add a bit of play money into our budget. So, if I sell more, we'll just be even more comfortable than we currently are.


Today was my first day on the job. Without getting into details, I didn't make a sale and had to rush to pick Diego up from school because Tony didn't have a car seat. Oops, minor detail. Well, he cancelled the babysitter so I had to cancel my two appointments this afternoon. And so this is my break-down of the situation at hand:


1. He's frustrated because I didn't make any money today. I'm frustrated because of his obvious lack of faith. 2. He was upset that he had to watch the twins. I was upset because he cancelled the babysitter so I lost several more chances at making a sale.
3. He obviously has reservations about me being anything other than Mommy. I obviously have ambitions beyond raising fine young boys.


Ergh.


Anyway, I don't know why I did this to myself. I knew he would be, well, disagreeable: But to be so pessimistic right out of the gate!?!?!?!?!? Well, that was just uncalled for. But to see it from his point of view, I'm probably being selfish and inconsiderate. 


So, on top of every other character I'm playing during this act in my life...I've added another character. Does this make me a more well-rounded actress or just add a TON of confusion? We'll see in the coming weeks.


Here's to Balance...or Bust!



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Ever feel like the woman you used to be got buried in an avalanche and cut off from all human contact...almost like Tom Hanks in that one movie where he befriended a volleyball named Spaulding? Actually, he was plane-wrecked not buried...but anyway! The avalanche I'm speaking of (in my case) is Mommyhood, Wifeyhood and all the complexities that come along with being responsible for people other than yourself! I vow to spend the next year discovering, nurturing and sharing habits that will help me (and you) to find balance between being the woman we once were and being the June Cleaver of the modern day world. Here's to Balance...or Bust!

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