All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
Okay, my whole point with this passage from Shakespeare is this: perhaps I have not LOST myself to "mommyhood." Perhaps I have just found another plane on which to express myself.
I am at home, sans hubby and children. It's just me and the dog. And it's quiet. The only sounds around are the humming refrigerator and my acrylic nails tapping on the keyboard (which, honestly is a very ANNOYING sound if you ask me.)
I went for a lovely run, did some intervals, push-ups, triceps dips, lunges etc. Then I came back home and had a deliciously long warm shower. While I was showering it struck me that I sort of missed the interruptions of little eyes peaking around the curtain to say, "hi Mommy, what doin'?" It felt weird to not have my "Spidey-sense" activated, listening for the tell-tale screams of a brother being pushed, hit or robbed of a toy by another brother.
So where am I? Seriously? I'm here, without my kids, so am I Mommy now? Or am I simply Me? Tony is at work, so am I still Wife?
My conclusion is this...I am none of those, yet still all of them. Right now I am playing a part, acting as "solo mio" (or whatever). When I pick my kids up from their cousin's house, I'll lace up my Mommy boots and play that part. When Tony gets home I will pull on my Wife costume and play that part.
As for finding balance between all these parts that I'm playing, I have yet to find it. However, I think that realizing that I am always Me, just sometimes wearing a different hat, was a big step towards finding balance.
What parts do you play? How often do you find yourself changing roles? Which character do you enjoy playing?
Let me know!
Here's to it...Balance or Bust!
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