I guess I should tell you that my whole reason behind getting a job was not to get away from the kids, although it has turned out to be a blessing in that department (I'll explain better in a moment.)

My ultimate goal in getting a sales job, was to put all my money aside to put a sizable down-payment on a home.

While working, I venture into some truly spectacular boutiques, jewelry stores and high-end, big-ticket stores. Today, I took my twins to the puppy store: mostly so they could play & so Leo could get over his fear of puppies and partly to see what was available as a playmate for our current dog, Blue. Well, wouldn't you know it, a beautiful red, freckled Cocker Spaniel was there. We played for 30 minutes with her. My heart broke as I walked out the door, knowing full-well that there was NO WAY my husband would let me spend $799 for a dog. Duh, we prefer pound-puppies anyway - don't we?


I also had to walk away from a stunning piece of hand-made jewelry. (As seen here.) The story behind this piece is remarkable..."truly an investment," I tell myself as I walk away, promising the shop owner I would be in tomorrow. Ergh.

Now, if any of you keep up with the weather, you'll know that way back in September, the metro & surrounding areas of Atlanta, Georgia were subjected to heavy, disastrous flooding. Our entire world floated away with the river...yup, and all my clothes too. So, needless to say, I'm without adequate summer clothes! So, I walk into several trendy clothing stores and nearly pass out when I walk out! 


Now, among all those stresses I must say that I come home much more eager to greet my children. I feel more in love with them after having been gone all day and I enjoy each moment a little bit more than I used to.

Balance is proving to be quite an illusive goal. For one day I'll feel like I've reached it and the next day it's as if the world flipped on it's axis and all is wrong again. But yet I move forward in search of it!

Okay, my analytical mind has either become absurdly more acute - OR - my mind is turning to sludge from watching too much Bones and I just think I'm getting smarter.

Who's to tell for sure? But here's one thing I do know. Today compared to yesterday was WAY better.

I mean, I didn't get a single sale (not yet), I must have visited 12 businesses and called two others, my sales contracts didn't get delivered and I missed my first appointment and didn't call to get another one. ("So exactly HOW could today possibly be better than yesterday," you ask.)


Because I had a great day with the kids! 

It's simply amazing how at one moment I'm pissed off because I can only spend a few short hours of the day making money and have to spend the rest of the day watching three annoying little kids, and the next moment I'm blissful and feeling all warm and fuzzy because we all had such a great afternoon playing outside with the neighbors.

It makes me question my priorities. I mean, it seems like a funny thing to wonder where family and career stand. Because in my point of view, I need a job to support my family, but I wouldn't need a job if I didn't have a family.

Now don't get me wrong, Tony has been an EXCELLENT provider these last two and a half years. But if we're really going to fulfill our dreams, I need to contribute too.
So here's how I think I made today better: although work was slightly disappointing, I got to do some window shopping and network with some great people. I remembered yesterday's blog post and tried to focus on my kids rather than multi-task. 

And that was HUGE.

So I guess I've found one new habit, one that will be difficult to form, but worth while. Instead of multi-tasking I am going to devote 100% of my attention to the things that I am doing, when I am doing them.

Work = 100% Work
Kids = 100% Kids
Tony = 100% Tony
Friends = 100% Friends
Housework = 100% Housework (did I just say that?)

That's it. And since I know it takes a full 28 days to implement and cement a habit, I'm going to make a conscious effort to focus intently on what I am doing, when I am doing it.

I think I'm getting closer to Balance! (or teetering so close to Bust I can't see the edge!)

I'm going to attempt to break down the pros & cons of each "character" or "player" that I experienced today. This is going to be tough...but we'll see how it goes.


Mommy                                                              

• Cute moment with Diego today...he said he loves me and is proud of me.
• Got furious with the boys when they interrupted me on the phone...kinda blew a gasket.
• Spent some quality time outside in the cool, Spring air. We played racecars!
• Snuggled with my twins...so soft and squishy!
• Missed the boys after being gone three hours.

Saleswoman

• Saved some wonderful women mucho money and gave them options to draw more customers.
• Had to compete with HORRIBLE schedule conflicts with hubby and babysitter. Very stressful.
• Got to do some pre-shopping for the big Saturday event at Peter's Path!
• Worked way harder and longer on one sale than I anticipated...let the babysitter down by being late.
• Truly enjoyed being in the field, helping small businesses save money.
• Liked interacting with other adults.

I don't exactly know where that leaves the score...I was also a wife today...not a very good one with my pouting and fussing about stuff. Ergh. It was a good day and a bad day for both characters. I thought breaking it down might help me to determine where the lack of balance is. I'll have to try harder, sleep on it and recap tomorrow night and see if there are any recurring themes. 


That should work, right?


Balance baby! (or Bust.)