Not OK.

This whole weekend has been one of those whirl-wind weekends where everything is super busy and nothing and no one seems to cooperate with my schedule.

After writing the previous post about NOT PMSing, the very next day I switched gears into Mucho PMS gear. Then to top it all off my twins both have acid diarrhea that has practically eaten away at the soft little epidermis on their cute little tooshies. My four-year-old is acting like a teenager and the only thing that seems to be going right is my sex life & the house-keeping.

Balance? Huh! Seems like when one thing is good the other things fall to shit. Then they flip-flop and reverse and play a confusing game of musical chairs: where there is only one chair and one winner...everyone else loses.

But, I am persisting, reading my book, searching - nay, scouring the internet for articles and books about parenting, being a good wife, 30-minute meals, time-management...

If you have ANY book suggestions, let me know! I'd love to hear what has helped you in the past!

Balance (a myth?) or Bust!


Angel Clark said...

bringing up boys. Pretty good book. A little controversial. But a lot of great things to take from it.

Stephanie said...

A book I tried with my ex ( that was a lost cause, but the book was excellent) that you might could read with Tony is "the love dare". It is geared toward married couples that have been together for a while, and has dares each day for you and your significant other.
As far as life being a whirlwind... That is life! Anyone that tells you their life is a breeze is lying :) especially with little kids running around. My life is comprised of being a referee to the girls, battling the ever steady trail of messiness that they leave in their path, figuring out what to cook for dinner, washing clothes, making it to the grocery store where anything labelled "managers special" gets tossed in my buggy and then I figure out what I can cook with it later, pausing and acting like I'm not a chicken with my head cut off when Keegan calls me to say hi, and later convincing myself that I'm Really NOT too tired to have sex ( usually somewhere in the beginning I forget about being tired ) and then trying to turn my brain off in time to fall asleep before Keegan starts snoring. And those are just the things that stick out to me at a glance! I am not sure how I accomished (successfully) all the things that I do in mommy-mode while i was working full time! Yet when the girls are at their dads I feel less efficient than when they are home. Strange. Sometimes you just want to scream for a quiet calm moment, but when you get it you find yourself wondering what your kids are up to. Not until recently do I feel that I have really been able to enjoy my kids. The love was always there, and feeling grateful for the time that we had together was there as well. What was not there was the energy that I needed to fully devote myself to the time we were spending together. I was exhausted from work, exhausted from battling with a partially involved father, and I had way too much on my mind. Now I practice completely devoting myself to the girls while Keegan is at work.I get up early and drink a cup of coffee with Keegan before he leaves for work. Later I wake up the girls and we go to work! Every task can be done together, whether it takes me twice as long or not :) when Keegan gets home from work we have family time, and when the girls go to sleep I completely devote myself to spending time with him. I'm not sure if that's balance, or just a system that's working for me at the moment. As the girls getbolder that process will change as their needs will I'm sure. My relationship will see different seasons, as all do and I will tweak the system then, as well. So, I suppose there is no magical equation that equals some utopian balance, rather for myself, I just try to evolve and keep up with the people that I love. Do the best that I can or them and myself everyday. Keegan knows I love him with all my heart, the girls know I love them more than life itself, I know i love me, and that I will take care of myself. That confidence leaves me fullfilled as a woman, a partner, and as a mother. Hey, maybe THAT is some kind of equation for balance and happiness! I love reading your blog :) you don't suffer alone!!

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Ever feel like the woman you used to be got buried in an avalanche and cut off from all human contact...almost like Tom Hanks in that one movie where he befriended a volleyball named Spaulding? Actually, he was plane-wrecked not buried...but anyway! The avalanche I'm speaking of (in my case) is Mommyhood, Wifeyhood and all the complexities that come along with being responsible for people other than yourself! I vow to spend the next year discovering, nurturing and sharing habits that will help me (and you) to find balance between being the woman we once were and being the June Cleaver of the modern day world. Here's to Balance...or Bust!

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