Day Three & Four - Oops, missed a day.

Day Three (in a nutshell)
Well, Easter Sunday was uneventful, except that I found my domesticated self taking great pride in preparing a yummy meal of grilled ribeye steaks and lobster tails, asparagus, dinner rolls and yellow cake with strawberry filling and chocolate frosting. It was an absolutely decadent meal with so many flavors melding and mixing and cha-cha-cha-ing that it was hard to not feel giddy and prideful.

My mother was over to celebrate with us. She's here at least one day a week and truly takes the burden off of being a Mommy. While she's here I get to talk about adult things; of course the conversation is always interspersed with exclamations like, "do NOT run with a LOLLIPOP in your mouth!" or sometimes, "use your words! I can't understand what you want if you whine." But at least it isn't all toddler talk.

Day Four
Today my husband went back to work. He's changing up his duties, for like the third time this year, and along with the duty-change comes a schedule change. So now he is off to work at 2:00 and back around 11:00. Here's how I feel about this:

1. I'm happy he will be gone at night so I can get some work done.
2. I'm pissed that I get bath-time all to myself again.
3. I'm pissed that I have to cook, feed the kids and clean it all up by myself.
4. I'm sad because I will have to fall asleep without him by my side.

He had this schedule while we lived in our other home and I survived. Actually, it was a total pain in my ass when he was home. It was like he threw a monkey wrench in the mix and I couldn't get anything done.

So my mixed emotions lead me to Google "how to be a good wife." I figure that being a good Mommy coincides with being a good Wifey which coincides with being a good Me. Right?

Anyway here is some advice from a woman in India:

"In India the qualities of a good wife or eight noble virtues an ideal wife should have are summed up in the verse from Neethisaram.

"Karyeshu Dasi, Karaneshu Manthri; Bhojeshu Mata, Shayaneshu Rambha, Roopeshu lakshmi, Kshamayeshu Dharitri, Satkarma Nari, Kuladharma Pathni".

She added a numbered list of 12 things instead of my advice to you, if you really want to know how to be a good wife in India - Look it up!

Something else I found which cracked me up:

Home Economics High School Text Book, 1954

"Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal, on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift..."

It keeps going on. Blah, blah, blah... Am I really supposed to be "a little gay?"

And finally, good ol' reliable WikiHow:

1. Be secure in yourself.
2. Express your feelings and needs, Except in the rare event that your husband happens to be psychic, don't expect mind-reading powers.
3. Don't expect the moon.
4. Pick your battles.
5. Offer sex frequently...
6. Keep your sex life interesting.
7. Accept him.
8. Manage stress.

Guess tomorrow I'll Google "how to be a good mommy."


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Lost & Found

Ever feel like the woman you used to be got buried in an avalanche and cut off from all human contact...almost like Tom Hanks in that one movie where he befriended a volleyball named Spaulding? Actually, he was plane-wrecked not buried...but anyway! The avalanche I'm speaking of (in my case) is Mommyhood, Wifeyhood and all the complexities that come along with being responsible for people other than yourself! I vow to spend the next year discovering, nurturing and sharing habits that will help me (and you) to find balance between being the woman we once were and being the June Cleaver of the modern day world. Here's to Balance...or Bust!

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